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 Chaz, Jack, and Tommy's HEATHENS vs. HERBIVORES vs. HISTORIANS blag

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chaz is scabies

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PostSubject: Re: Chaz, Jack, and Tommy's HEATHENS vs. HERBIVORES vs. HISTORIANS blag   Thu Mar 30, 2017 6:49 am

BEST EPISODE OF THE SEASON AND FUNNIEST IN A LONG TIME. It was fan fic levels of amazingness that I could never have expected. I'm amazed at how Sandra always is against the worst people and with the best ones. And how she has survived this many tribal councils.

I am too overwhelmed to blag about it yet. lol @ J.T. not bringing his idol.
BYE FELICIA
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PostSubject: Re: Chaz, Jack, and Tommy's HEATHENS vs. HERBIVORES vs. HISTORIANS blag   Thu Mar 30, 2017 8:39 am

BAI JT. So glad is lack of impulse control can't further ruin this season like it did HvV.

Sandra <333 I love how she sabotages something every season and never gets caught. Dumping the fish and letting Christa take the blame, burning Russell's hat, and now eating all the Sugar Laughing
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PostSubject: Re: Chaz, Jack, and Tommy's HEATHENS vs. HERBIVORES vs. HISTORIANS blag   Thu Mar 30, 2017 2:59 pm

also has anybody else noticed how they're getting a lot more creative with their music and cinematography this season than they've ever done before?
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PostSubject: Re: Chaz, Jack, and Tommy's HEATHENS vs. HERBIVORES vs. HISTORIANS blag   Thu Mar 30, 2017 4:15 pm

Def with the music.
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PostSubject: Re: Chaz, Jack, and Tommy's HEATHENS vs. HERBIVORES vs. HISTORIANS blag   Fri Mar 31, 2017 8:01 pm

Yeah nature/wildlife filming crew has gotten some really cool shots in the last few seasons. The music is more varied too.

I remember that Caramoan randomly had amazing cinematography for a lot of the season.
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PostSubject: Re: Chaz, Jack, and Tommy's HEATHENS vs. HERBIVORES vs. HISTORIANS blag   Fri Mar 31, 2017 8:54 pm

As -amazing- as that episode was, I am still dreading how this season will play out. I can't see it working out any way other than a Sierra/Brad/Tai endgame with Sarah and Ozzy somehow being incredibly relevant postmerge. That's how the edit feels at least. Although I have been tricked by the editing a few times thus far so let's hope that it won't be too much of a calamity (omw now we can all start talking like chaz).

*RANKING*

16. Sierra - "errrmageerrr I'm so sick of losing" DIAF you horrible creature.

15. JT - Agreed about the potentially racist undertones. He seems like somebody with deeply entrenched bigotry and I doubt that he will ever adjust his worldview. He is also just inherently a SEASON RUINER and even though his boot was so amazing and fun it still does not make up for his SEASON RUINING. If he didn't come onto this season and do his usual trick of colossally fucking everything up for all the likeable people then we would already be rid of SIERRA DAWN THOMAS and we would still have Malcolm.

14. Ozzy - I'm very bored by the green tribe. I wouldn't complain if all of them were ejected from the game and never mentioned again tbh. Cirie's journey has my investment but they just seem like a group being set up to get picked off after a merge. Not sure how Ozzy's entrance became about the whole green tribe but know that i still H8 him.

13. Brad - As psychotic as Debbie is, she wasn't wrong about Brad being an obliviously domineering and potentially sexist brute. plz can somebody overthrow him.

*gap*

12. Andrea - She has bad taste in people. In general. Plz don't enable Ozzy. Survivor should stop trying to make Andrea happen.

11. Aubry - She was pretty great in Koah Rong but here she is just a dud. Bad taste in people. Boring. Not even a hint of intelligent strategy. Hopefully her speech about not wanting to gang up on Michaela is a sign that she will be absorbed into Sandra's ever-evolving crew of fans/followers/sidekicks along with Troyzan/Hali/Michaela/Jeff.

10. Tai - O____O He is hilarious ("Debbie is just a crazy lady" and his concerned stares at Debbie) but he is with terrible people. STOP LOOKING FOR IDOLS. There should be a limit on how many idols they hide in a season because this is becoming absurd.

9. Sarah - O___________O I am not very inspired by this lame criminal storyline that we are getting from Mrs 0.15% blood alcohol level.

8. Zeke - I actually forgot he exists and got to the top 4 before realising that I forgot somebody.

7. Troyzan - He is definitely one of the people I was most annoyed about being cast but at least he teamed up with Sandra and then promptly went silent after they were separated. gj for exceeding expectations. lol @ his lesbian pony tail.

*gap*

6. Jeff - I wasn't excited about him threepeating but his Sandra support has made it totally worth it. gj Jeff

5. Cirie - Still unsure if we are going to see much more of her this season and whether she will be awesome or become annoying.

4. Hali - I feel more sorry for her than anyone else on this season. She is competent in every aspect of survivor gameplay but she is stuck with a horrible tribe full of horrible people and/or psychopaths. Sad that she had to bear the brunt of Debbie's blatant prejudice just because she was the only young woman around (Sierra is a 4000 year old demonic spirit so I don't count her). I hope she gets to reunite with the Sandra crew.

3. Debbie - ROFL @ her doing push-ups and her manic laughter after screaming at Brad on the beach. Her entire mental breakdown was glorious and I hope it continues into the next episodes. I knew Debbie was kooky but I never realised how batshit insane and outright delusional she was. What an interesting case study we have here.

*GAP*

2. Michaela - This was the best Michaela episode to date. LOL @ her getting the mug out during the reading of the votes. Then her hair flick. She is the perfect sidekick for Sandra.

1. Sandra - She is just the best. Agreed that her presence on this season has already been worth it even if it all goes downhill soon.
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PostSubject: Re: Chaz, Jack, and Tommy's HEATHENS vs. HERBIVORES vs. HISTORIANS blag   Fri Mar 31, 2017 11:46 pm

Also LOL @ a former contestant returning. Survivor is really jumping the shark this season but I don't even care. It would be funny if it is ~game changer Francesca Hogi~.

Wasn't there a non-US survivor series where Rupert Boneham-Carter came on the show to temporarily join the tribe that won a reward challenge? I swear this was a thing. I recall that he showed up and did his stupid roaring caveman routine and literally nobody cared or wanted him there.
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PostSubject: Re: Chaz, Jack, and Tommy's HEATHENS vs. HERBIVORES vs. HISTORIANS blag   Sat Apr 01, 2017 1:47 am

Yeah, I heard about that. Survivor Israel or something? I've seen some speculation that he will be there on exile island to hang out with whoever gets sent there.

The other spec I have seen a lot of is that Boston Barf will be there to congratulate Ozzy on surpassing him for most days played.
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PostSubject: Re: Chaz, Jack, and Tommy's HEATHENS vs. HERBIVORES vs. HISTORIANS blag   Sat Apr 01, 2017 7:17 am

Oh fuck me please no to both scenarios. What is the point? Honestly, if they put a player in after 14 days of the game, that is a great game changing twist. There will alwys be haters but I'd love that twist. Anything to shake the game up and make it uncomfortable.
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PostSubject: Re: Chaz, Jack, and Tommy's HEATHENS vs. HERBIVORES vs. HISTORIANS blag   Sat Apr 01, 2017 4:22 pm

I hope Rupert is coming back to visit Sandra <3

lol I never knew how much I liked the word calamity until I followed this thread
4000 year old demonic spirit <33. Go giantess go!
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PostSubject: Re: Chaz, Jack, and Tommy's HEATHENS vs. HERBIVORES vs. HISTORIANS blag   Thu Apr 06, 2017 12:42 am

*moment of silence for Sandra*
*burns voodoo dolls of Tai, Brad, SIERRA DAWN THOMAS, Andrea, Ozzy, Zeke, and Sarah*

lol @ these people being so focused on what's right in front of them that they're totally blinded to what's going to happen on day 17. You honestly think that Jeff is just going to go next? so many people could've actually used Sandra's vote. I hope everything blows up in the faces of all of them and Jeff Sandras his way to the win. I totally expected this to come but the ambiguous use of Sandra being a "threat" is so lame.

also major O__________O @ the footage of Mana being limited to just Brad going up to team up with Troy O__________________O. I see what you're doing, editors, and I hate you for it. normally I would feel optimistic about Michaela/Aubry/Hali/Cirie working together cause they're all on the outs but all of them being UTR1 (especially Cirie being invisible three episodes in a row wtf) makes me super nervous. I've pretty much resigned myself to the fact that all of the awful gamebot bores who take themselves way too seriously (Brad, Troy, Sierra, Sarah, Zeke, Tai, Andrea) are going to make it to the end with Brad as the winner. idk if that'll actually happen but if I keep telling myself that then I'll be super happy if someone random like Michaela or Hali wins.

Cochran's cameo Rolling Eyes Rolling Eyes Rolling Eyes Rolling Eyes they should've had someone like Natalie White instead

16. Cochran - you are the most contrived, predictable, faker than faux fur winner ever

15. Brad - die

14. Tai - he's turning into Russell with all of this idol nonsense and he didn't even get the boot for his drunken gameplay like he deserved. I wonder what would've happened if Sandra had approached him earlier to work together and use one of his eight hundred idols

13. Troyzan - die

12. SIERRA DAWN THOMAS - she's the equivalent of like Dan Lembo from Nicaragua or Denise Martin from China being a game changer

11. Ozzy - bro you do realize that once you take out the biggest arbitrarily assigned "threat" in Sandra, they'll be coming for you next?

10. Zeke - yawn. Jay would've been such a better choice.

9. Andrea - yawn. enabler.

8. Sarah - bleh. do something interesting plz

7. Aubry - kind of here by default. she totally would've been one of the too serious gamebores who jumped right at the opportunity to take out Sandra, so if she had drawn a blue buff, she'd be lower.

6. Debbie - I mean she's lolworthy and hates Brad so let's hope she randomly takes out someone terrible?

5. Hali - her invisibility bums me out Sad

4. Jeff - I can totally see him Sandra-ing his way through this game. Of my favs left I think he's most likely to win

3. Cirie - Cirie is easily the most legendary person cast this season other than maybe Sandra so WHY are you ignoring her? O____O

2. Michaela - choose the ~right~ side on your new tribe, gurl, I know you can do it!

1. Sandra - absolutely crushed it this season. Survivor legend <3 it's a shame that JT prevented her from taking down Sierra, too.
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PostSubject: Re: Chaz, Jack, and Tommy's HEATHENS vs. HERBIVORES vs. HISTORIANS blag   Thu Apr 06, 2017 3:49 am

I like Brad and Sierra and I hope Michaela joins them ~hides in corner~

Cirie is the only one who hasn't been to tribal yet, so it depends how next week (and other weeks depending on how soon merge is) goes. I don't think she will survive a premerge tribal. But once she gets to the merge, she's gold.

So just hope next week Michaela, Brad, and Sierra G.ODDESS can beat Ozzy lolz.
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PostSubject: Re: Chaz, Jack, and Tommy's HEATHENS vs. HERBIVORES vs. HISTORIANS blag   Thu Apr 06, 2017 7:32 am

Quote :
11. Ozzy - bro you do realize that once you take out the biggest arbitrarily assigned "threat" in Sandra, they'll be coming for you next?

That's what I dont get and why all of this is so dumb. Why are the big targets so happy to vote each other out, haven't they learned anything from all returnee seasons like All Stars and Heroes vs. Villains, the big targets go after each other early and some UTR g.oddess ends up in the end and wins. I am not counting Cambodia here.

Now that Sandra is gone, who are the big names left? Ozzy, Tai, Brad (yes hes a big name this season, hes in charge of his alliance and a huge physical threat), Cirie? Tai and Ozzy should have made an alliance with Sandra and Varner who were desperate, and taken out someone like Zeke who is already telling everyone what to do. They didn't even get to watch his season, so why keep someone dangerous and unpredictable there.
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PostSubject: Re: Chaz, Jack, and Tommy's HEATHENS vs. HERBIVORES vs. HISTORIANS blag   Thu Apr 06, 2017 9:14 am

15. Zeke - Awful in this episode and so fug. Did he even change clothes between seasons? I've never wanted to like this guy and now I have a reason not to.

14. Tai - One of Survivor's worst. He is just as bad as Russell Hantz at this point. Boring (and too many) confessionals, REPETETIVE AS FUCK gameplay, totally disorganized. I think it's hilarious that he constantly has subtitles. It's not that you don't know English and you're not very smart, it's that you talk like a fucking idiot and you're a paranoid FREAK. Please never ever ever play this game again. It's so embarrassing to watch this guy "play". lol @ his Face off with Sandra. Stare down. She don't like you. Razz  And I don't either.

13. Sierra - Dude is she just TRYING to add cheese to this shit? Like is she aware that 100% of the people don't want her to be playing so she just acts completely obnoxious? I watched a video where at least 7 people in the cast listed her as the least deserving of being there. <3 Please stop jumping up and down and being excited, giving sloppy kisses with your stapled on leather face and your mis-matched nose. And wtf at solving the puzzle in 0.2 seconds? This bitch is scary and way too thirsty for a win. I'm gonna just start rooting for her.

12. Brad - Cute <3 I hope he just gets completely destroyed by this cast and I hope it's nothing but women and gay dudes. Troy...you're better than this guy.

11. Cirie - She finally gets the edit she deserves lol. Totally getting an idol'd out/rock'd out edit. She even has really brief but overdramatic storylines that go nowhere, kind of like facetransplant Jessica. Like her and Ozzy having a rivalry. The edit was whoring that out like it did Sunday vs Jessica. I really wish she and Sandra had been switched in the tribes. Instead this bitch gets to make merge and probably jury. Huge Eliza eye roll.

10. Ozzy - Just...not seeing any improved gameplay. This guy is clearly just a joke of a player at this point. :/ How was Tai supposed to know to NOT tell Varner when nobody tells him this info? Still a blah asshole with that cocky affect. So undeserved. I would've lol'd so hard if another "strong" male went home. Tai randomly targeting him was the only good sign of things to come last night. Oh what could have been though.

9. Aubry - I saw some promise last night. Still a dud though.

8, 7. Andrea and Sarah - I don't really know where to put them but their alliance is cute. I knew they were lesbians <3

6. Michaela - I bet she will be sad Sandra was voted out. Sad What is she going to do?

5. Hali - awe she didn't talk much for once but that's okay. Queens don't need to be in every episode. I had no clue who the fuck the cutie in purple was though. She has a gorgeous figure! Cute little butt running around. WHEN will she escape the vile giraffe?

4. Debbie - omfg this is the biggest bi polar edit ever. Not shocking that it's for Debbie rofl. She behaved SO TERRIBLY last episode and then in this one, I am truly rooting for her to win now. Her party boat <3 can she just live on it? I think I'm figuring her story out, and HER in general. Definitely a case and I can't wait for Tommy and I to analyze her psychology.

3. Troy - Hay gurl <3

2. Sandra - Effortless entertainment.

1. Jeff Varner - Sandra-ing his way to a win at this point. And I feel weird saying this but he looked yummy a couple of times. He's actually a handsome guy. The other 2 do nothing for me and neither does their gameplay. Maybe we will get some sassiness from him soon cause if you recall this guy can be pretty hilarious if he has it out for someone.
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PostSubject: Re: Chaz, Jack, and Tommy's HEATHENS vs. HERBIVORES vs. HISTORIANS blag   Thu Apr 06, 2017 10:40 am

If Cirie is idol'd or rock'd out I think I would have to turn the TV off immediately.
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PostSubject: Re: Chaz, Jack, and Tommy's HEATHENS vs. HERBIVORES vs. HISTORIANS blag   Thu Apr 06, 2017 10:50 am

rofl @ Sierra's stapled leather face. I bet they created her by going to a tomb in Egypt and ransacking the most cursed mummies for some form of life, throwing it all into a leather sack that vaguely resembles a person and then putting her on Survivor. She was probably busting at her seams tonight and they had to do an emergency exorcism on the people she infected so that's why they didn't show her last night.

I officially do not like the trajectory of this season, and I blame Tai and JT for it.
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PostSubject: Re: Chaz, Jack, and Tommy's HEATHENS vs. HERBIVORES vs. HISTORIANS blag   Thu Apr 06, 2017 10:52 am

Malcolm and Cirie both getting idol'd out of this season would be way too much to handle. Of all the awful fat people to go, why those two? ;_____;

the idea of Cirie getting idol'd out twice ;________;
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PostSubject: Re: Chaz, Jack, and Tommy's HEATHENS vs. HERBIVORES vs. HISTORIANS blag   Thu Apr 06, 2017 10:55 am

I just imagine Cirie having a similar reaction to Face Transplant when she was rocked out and I think I would be wrecked emotionally.
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PostSubject: Re: Chaz, Jack, and Tommy's HEATHENS vs. HERBIVORES vs. HISTORIANS blag   Thu Apr 06, 2017 11:01 am

15: Sandra - Bye, finally. Never been happier to see the back of somebody. FIST PUMP!

14: Michaela - She didn't get a word and I still hate her. So fug with those faces </3 BYE FELICIA.

13:  Tai - He sucks as a player but he's a good person so it's sad to put him so low. Terrible player, great at finding idols but a waste and an overall bad episode for him to alienate his team.

12: Debbie - Stop talkinggg. She's weird and annoying. Felt so bad for Cochran.

11: Varner - Queen's little bitch boy. How will he cope on his own without his master?

10: Cirie - Which one is she again? Invisible and irrelevant.

09: Ozzy - I will never like him. Why is he there? Go away.

08: Sierra - Yawn Thomas. See what I did there?

07: Hali - Every straight man's dream girl.

06: Zeke - He wanted Queenie out so he's ok by me.

05: Andrea - She wanted Queenie out so she's ok by me.

04: Sarah - Her funny stance could entertain me for hours.

03: Aubry - The mix came just at the right time for her. Aubs will rise again.

02: Troyzan - Tarzan (the real Tarzan, not that shitty one from One World) got nuttin on ma boy. He went through tough times and now he's finding his feet.

01: Culpepper - Killin' it. A thousand times improved from his first season. By far the most improved player of the season.
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PostSubject: Re: Chaz, Jack, and Tommy's HEATHENS vs. HERBIVORES vs. HISTORIANS blag   Thu Apr 06, 2017 11:51 am

Oh oh, am I allowed to rank the top 14? Also I am doing it backwards so lol sorry


Hali: Queen. Please win. She's the only left that I really like and is playing a semi decent game.

Brad: I am only ranking him high because I feel sorry for him Laughing plus I read that Funny 115 entry about him and it's just so hilarious that the same thing is happening to him this season lol. Whether I like it or not, hes playing a good game.

Michaela: Only here because of the tea (water) sipping scene. Iconic. Win please.

Varner: I feel so bad for this guy. He clearly loves the game, and wants to make the merge and the jury so bad. But with Sandra gone, i am not liking his chances of surviving the next episode.

Ozzy: Ozzy is playing the only way Ozzy knows how to play. Can I fault him for that? Not really. You do you gurl and enjoy all the time you're gonna spend in Ponderosa as an early juror Laughing

Sierra: I mean she targeted Malcolm and got him out? The others wanted Sandra out but she was like, NOPE MALCOLM. Malcolm left. She's boring af and still feel like she doesnt deserve her spot, but at least she is not sucking like other returnees this season.

Aubry: Soooooooooooo disappointing so far. I am always going to remember r.obbed g.oddess kaoh rong runner up Aubry fondly though. I am just coming to terms to the fact that this season will not be for her to shine, which sucks but whatever.

Tai: He's "playing" but he's playing such a terrible game, I was almost hoping she would leave last night. He sucks. He is finding way too many idols, but at least I am going to rejoice when he leaves with both of them in his pocket.

Andrea: She's just....there? I liked her in both of her previous seasons so I can't really hate on her now if it's the editors' fault shes this invisible. I am sure there's some ANDREA content in there that's interesting.

Sarah: my winner pick this season is just soooo boring. She keeps saying the same thing over and over about playing like a criminal but I've yet to see any of that. HOPING that it means she will dominate in the post merge. Not very hopeful though.

Troyzan:  Hey, he found an idol. Hey he survived the first swap? Good for him. Still boring. Still cant root for or against him. He's just...there. I hope that he gets whatever he wants out of this season and we never seen him again.

Cirie: lol oops I forgot her the first time I posted. I guess that says all I need to say about how I feel about her. So invisible. So forgettable.

Debbie: She's crazy and I am uncomfortable watching her on TV now. Like at least she was endearing in KR but here's it's weird.

Zeke: He's playing the game. I am only ranking him so low because he's just so....blahhhh. Like, I dont want to say waste of a spot, because he did play decently last season. But I dont know, there's something about him that I dont like. I almost feel like the producers are trying to make ZEKE happen, but it's not going to happen.
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PostSubject: Re: Chaz, Jack, and Tommy's HEATHENS vs. HERBIVORES vs. HISTORIANS blag   Thu Apr 06, 2017 12:15 pm

people who the producers have embarrassingly tried to make ~happen~ that weren't that great/not really worth it in their own right include, but are not limited to:

Brad Culpepper
Zeke
Caleb
Tony
Monica Culpepper
Colton
Cochran
Phillip
Brandon Hantz
Fransesqua
Russell Hantz
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PostSubject: Re: Chaz, Jack, and Tommy's HEATHENS vs. HERBIVORES vs. HISTORIANS blag   Thu Apr 06, 2017 12:31 pm

How do you come to that conclusion? Brad is playing a good game. Zeke played well in his first season, Tony won and is as great entertainment value, Cochran won as well. Caleb got a second shot because of the manner in which he was taken out the first time, Can't argue with that. Russell is a polarizing character and will always get people talking, which is exactly what they want.

I won't argue with Colton as he was totally vile and should never have been given a second shot. Phillip is one dimensional and once you've seen him once, you don't need to see him again. Brandon got a second shot because of the name. Francesca probably shouldn't have got a second chance but did so because of Phillip being there. Monica was pretty irrelevant first time around but they probably wanted Brad more so.

I think you can only argue players who left early in a season didn't really deserve another chance, but people who made it far by means of playing the game or won can't be faulted for getting a second shot.

Think about players who got far on their seasons, but did shit all. If those players were brought back, then you could said producers were trying to make them happen when there's no justification for doing so. The people they bring back they see sometihng in, be it personality or game play.
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PostSubject: Re: Chaz, Jack, and Tommy's HEATHENS vs. HERBIVORES vs. HISTORIANS blag   Thu Apr 06, 2017 12:50 pm

Brad was an OTTN pre-merge alpha douche who got owned and left in a total of like five episodes. Not noteworthy at all. So many people have done that. Yet they brought Monica back in BvW JUST so we could see him, he was kind of an irrelevant fail in the grand scheme of things, but Jeff is still so obsessed with him that he's put in the Cambodia poll, he still gets ignored, but rather than getting the message, they bring him back for a "game changers" season. Whose game did he change? Rachel Foulger? John Cody? whatever. bye.

Zeke was "unique" I guess and gave some good confessionals but he got cocky and promptly lost all the power and ends up in 9th place. Like he was fine I guess but there were like six people his season that had more dynamic and interesting journeys than he did.

Tony and Cochran won, but so did Michele Fitzgerald and Sophie Clarke. The way production treats their winners isn't consistent. They make "legends" of the people they like, and they give crap treatment to the people they want to forget. I'm over it.

Caleb lasted nine days, did absolutely nothing that I remembered other than being on the receiving end of a weird bromance with Tai, then gets brought back for a "game changers" season? He didn't even go to one tribal council. He had even less merit to be brought back than Monica Culpepper, Francesca, and Kelley Wentworth. Most pointless returnee ever by MILES.

Russell is only as polarizing as he is because production decided that he was going to be the best villain ever and wanted to hype him and the season up as much as possible before HvV. That sequence in the F11 episode of Samoa where they get back from reward (where everyone else is GETTING THE CLUE THAT THEY WON) and he runs off and finds the idol in 3.8 seconds is some of the most suspicious BS this show has ever seen. Without some highly suspect producer interference, he's 11th place and not super noteworthy at all in the grand scheme of things. I was talking in the other thread about how Fairplay is everything that CBS wants Russell to be. He naturally oozes chaos, scrambling, and power shifts without having to rely on a bunch of sloppily hidden idols and the most unbalanced edit of all time.
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PostSubject: Re: Chaz, Jack, and Tommy's HEATHENS vs. HERBIVORES vs. HISTORIANS blag   Fri Apr 07, 2017 11:52 pm

This season is officially a CALAMITY.

Somebody needs to declare a state of emergency before it's too late. Cochroach scuttling onto Debbie's luxury pleasure craft was the first time at which a watchdog agency should have intervened and pulled the plug on this season before it escalated. Debbie should have sprayed Raid on him or left a perimeter of roach killing pellets around her in the shape of a pentagram. Then Sierra's leatherface bursting at the seams and releasing a plague of locusts upon Fiji was the point at which armed forces should have been brought in to shoot net traps over her and bring her into a high security prison.....dead or alive. Lastly, the true winner of the season Sandra being voted off by a bunch of lacklustre NOBODIES is the final straw. Goodbye S34 game changers, you provided us two amazing episodes but now you will probably plummet to the ~bottom 13~ seasons.

I have suddenly realised what a terrible cast we are left with now that Sandra is not there to shield them. It's like when bright lights come on the dance floor at the end of the night and you look around and realise that you have just spent the last two hours -shaking your body- in a large puddle of beer with a bunch of freaks (see: Tai, Debbie, Sierra), mutants (see: Sierra, Ozzy), dullards (see: Andrea,  Zeke, Ozzy, Sierra, Brad, Aubry) and DRUNKS (see: Sarah Lacina).


*RANKING*

15. Brad - I dread this trajectory. He has already ruined Troyzan and dashed all of my hopes of anything exciting happening on what otherwise could have been a tribe where Hali and Michaela took out leatherface and this douchebag.

14. Leatherface - O_________________O I can see the staples around the sides of her face now. I fear her but at the same time want to know which fiery pit, other dimension or ancient tomb she crawled out of. What is she doing on our planet and what does she want from us???

13. Ozzy - I knew that he would eventually emerge and begin ruining the games of all the likeable people. He still has his delusions, his unjustified sense of entitlement and his usual self-aggrandisement.

12. Andrea - Does she serve any purpose other than being an extra vote in Ozzy's pocket? She is one of the worst threepeater choices ever.

11. Sarah - She is just another Andrea at this point. The only difference is that they are trying to force a storyline onto her, which is even more worrying because it could mean we are stuck with her for much longer.

10. Zeke - Go back to being irrelevant and invisible pls.

9. Tai - In theory he is providing memorable moments and I would have been totally fine with most of what he has done this season if he had been voted out tonight. But he wasn't. And he has two idols that he is probably already trying to Fedex to Sierra and Brad on the other tribe. Worst alliance. Worst subtitles. Worst screen time hog. WORST idol hunter since Russell Hantz. At this stage he can either totally ruin whatever morsels of potential this season still has (and join Brad and Sierra at the bottom of this ranking) or he can suddenly pull a Koah Rong Tai and turn on his two horrible allies in an epic way. I don't have high hopes though.

*gap*

8. Troyzan - O__O pls don't.

7. Aubry - Does she even have a vote anymore or was that right revoked because she is so irrelevant?

6. Cirie - Unfair that she never goes to tribal but Sandra has to go nearly every episode.

*gap*

5. Varner - I hope he avenges Sandra. The edit suggests that Zeke might just scoop him into their shitty alliance to take out one of Debbie/Tai though.

4. Debbie - Total lunatic and apparently a Cochran fan (how embarassing) but at least she is entertaining. Glad to see that her Brad hatred stays strong. I was loling at her face when she didn't get any buff.

3. Hali - She is one of the few morsels of potential that remain.

*gap*

2. Michaela - She will never be able to have a great sidekick like Sandra ever again ;___;

1. Sandra - As sad and horrible as this all is, I am really happy with her showing this season. If anything, she has shown that she is a strong player and can play proactively and aggressively just as well as she can play under the radar. She never had a chance this season and was totally screwed over by a swap. It's comical seeing a bunch of athletic and boring idiots being sent into panic spirals and derailing all of their long term plans just to get rid of this sassy Puerto Rican lady as soon as they possibly could. Even as Debbie is about to join their team and join up with Mary Poppins and her idols. gj Sandra, the queen stays queen. Loved her final words as well.
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PostSubject: Re: Chaz, Jack, and Tommy's HEATHENS vs. HERBIVORES vs. HISTORIANS blag   Fri Apr 07, 2017 11:56 pm

I agree with this list of people that the survivor producers keep trying to make -happen- but should really just give up on.

Also from last week I agree that Michelle is a CYBORG. I think she operates on bitcoins.
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