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 Jack ranks top 100 iconic Survivor men & women (WOW FINALLY UPDATED AGAIN)

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Jack

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PostSubject: Re: Jack ranks top 100 iconic Survivor men & women (WOW FINALLY UPDATED AGAIN)   Sat Oct 07, 2017 2:59 pm


55. Scout Cloud Lee

I think I hated Scout the first time I watched Vanuatu, but in retrospect, I have no idea why. The worst thing you can say about her is that she’s boring, but if you think that, I question either a) whether you’ve been paying attention to her or b) what you find entertaining. Because Scout is freaking hilarious. A 60 year old cyborg lesbian hippie with a knee that doesn’t work who’s also a cattle rancher from Oklahoma or whatever that ends up making it all the way to the Final 3? You can’t make that sort of thing up. You definitely had to question at times if she’s actually a real person, because there were so many occasions when she’d drunkenly but calmly mumble about something happening the chaos around her before slowly starting to cackle. The times when she would just sit there assessing the situation made me wonder if her internal systems were a little glitchy. I think she’s actually pretty well known for her ominous and creative voting confessionals nowadays, which is good, because they were always hilarious. Scout is someone who I feel like would be a random UTRfun presence in any season, but due to Vanuatu being a more explosive season (mainly pre-swap Yasur and post-Chad boot) and having lots of other ~colorful~ personalities, she legit made it a better season by playing her exact persona. I love how she was in the same alliance as Twila and Eliza, yet she still ended up on the receiving end of Ami’s wrath after Leann went home. Being a funny secondary character in one of my favorite seasons was totally enough to get Scout up to the top 50ish of this ranking. There has never been another Scout and idk if there ever will be.





54. RC Saint-Amour

I remember people on Sux HATING RC during Philippines’ airing because she was a generic CP3 younger woman who got “THAT GIRL” vibes (sidenote: classic THAT GIRLs include Alexis Jones, Monica Padilla, Natalie Tenerelli), but I don’t know if that description did her justice. Obviously RC wasn’t that good of a player, and she was never going to be the fan favorite type, either. She’s the type of jury foreman who’s a big obnoxious personality that everyone slowly starts to hate until she’s mercilessly booted at the merge with nobody really by her side. That’s one of my fav archetypes <3. We should’ve been able to tell this from the beginning, because she lied about being an investment banker lol. Are people actually familiar enough with what investment bankers are to judge her based on that? I think she’s the only non-celebrity to ever lie about who she is. RC was pretty accurate in her assessments of people, though. Pete really did suck and Abi really was crazy. Think about it, though. RC was so annoying that people would rather stick with ABI MARIA GOMES than they would with her. What a gem <3 Wasn’t she really bitter and petty towards Pete and Artis in Ponderosa, too? That’s always ugly but I guess they kind of made things personal, and I also hated Pete, so I’m not holding it against RC too much. She respected the fact that she got outplayed by Lisa and was the only one who voted for her so gj RC. I would’ve loved to have seen her again on BvW, too, which almost happened. She got flown out there and was going to play up until the last minute but her dad had a heart condition or something. Candice was her replacement and that also means that Candice wouldn’t have gotten screwed over by that BS twist in the beginning BUT THAT’S FOR ANOTHER WRITE UP I GUESS. Anyway that whole thing gives me hope that maybe we haven’t seen the end of RC just yet ^_^





53. Jenn Brown

This is a really good and fitting intro.

Jenn was a relentlessly obnoxious force in the face of one of the worst conglomerations of people in Survivor history, so for that, I will always appreciate her. She had no time for Nina’s self-pitying nonsense (feeling excluded at two women half your age skinny dipping without you lol/smh), she had no time for Max and Shirin being the most annoying duo ever, she had no time for Rodney being one of the most vile human beings ever on the show, and she had no time for putting up with Team Awful after the merge. She wasn’t afraid to get loud and be the lazy, entitled millennial that so many people hate <3 I also love how she had basically given up but then the majority alliance got so annoying that it broke Jenn’s apathy and got her to start caring again just to screw with them. That’s amazing and the sort of stuff that gives a season like Worlds Apart a much needed bright spot. She was one of the few times in Survivor history that I was happy an idol got played, although it sucks that she used it on Kelly instead of someone like Dan or Rodney, but nobody’s perfect, I guess. She loses points for giving up at the end, but only a couple points because she saw that she was screwed and would rather let her allies Joe and Shirin (who were huge superfans who would give a kidney to stay alive) keep going because they clearly cared more than she did. Jenn seems like she could be fun in real life, too. If Jenn were on a season that were not as dreadful as Worlds Apart, I don’t know if she’d be on this list. If Worlds Apart had aired ten years ago instead of two years ago, I don’t know if she’d be on this list. Luckily for Jenn, she was a shining star in a trash season that was recent enough that I still care about her, so here she is!





52. Kelly Czarnecki

I don't know why some contestants don't have high quality intro gifs on Google images. Probst probably paid Google to make this the best gif you could find.

Kelly C. is one of the three or four most random people on either of my top 100s and I’m not sorry for it. Clueless young women who somehow survive round after round much to the frustration of literally everybody on their tribe is one of my favorite archetypes but what launches Kelly into all-time greatness is the degree to which Jeff Probst would trash her all the time. I don’t know if Jeff has ever been so angry at someone’s existence as he was with Kelly. Wasn’t it for her that he made comments in the recaps about how it’s like Fang had a death wish or something? He made multiple comments about how she got picked at the tribe swap before Bob did, which was also hilarious. Usually people who make Jeff angry are people I like. Kelly was no exception. Some of her most well known moments are 1. when everyone was looking for GC and she said “maybe he got eaten by a monkey, dude.” lol x 100 <3 and 2. at Kota’s first TC

Jeff: “how is Ace an asset to your tribe?”
Kelly: *goes on about a what a jerk Ace is*
Everyone: ………….

So blissfully unaware <3 Kelly is kind of like Scout in that by herself she’s great, but her being herself in the exact context she was in made both her and her season so much more enjoyable. Fang was possibly the most dysfunctional tribe ever and I’m so glad she was there instead of on new Kota. I’m glad her only real ally the whole game was Paloma. Kelly is one of the all time bests of a very consistent, yet inconsequential archetypes in Survivor history, so I feel like I couldn’t not include her on this. Stay strong <3







51. Sophie Clarke

Sophie just misses out on the top 50, and I think there are people out there who might consider this an injustice, as a young, witty, cerebral female winner in a very male-dominated season. On paper, I feel like Sophie should be really great for those reasons and more, but she was mostly a MOR2 presence in a VERY tiresome season. Don’t get me wrong, I was thrilled that she won (because South Pacific made even Coach less enjoyable than he used to be ;_____; more on that later) and I love that she’s in the lore of Survivor winners, but her journey as shown on TV was quite underwhelming. I think she deserved better. Someone on YouTube put together a Sophie’s Greatest Hits video, and it was pretty good. She definitely had some high quality moments that assure me that she’s the sort of person who I would enjoy in real life and on most seasons of Survivor, but I don’t think the editors did her justice. Snarky moments like “WOULD YOU LET ME F—-ING FINISH!”, calling Coach her young, weak woman, and being dismissive of Cochran at every given opportunity were great, but they always felt like random things inserted in the Coach, Ozzy, Cochran, and Brandon show. She WON the season, you’d think she’d be more central to the story, but she wasn’t. It’s not really her fault that she got screwed over by the edit, or that her season was mostly boring, and when it wasn’t boring, it was uncomfortable, but I can’t pretend that I loved Sophie because all I ever experienced was brief moments of enjoyment that quickly got fizzled out by the flood of meh that was South Pacific. I would love to see her again because I think in another season or surrounded by different people, she’d be much higher than this.
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Merriska



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PostSubject: Re: Jack ranks top 100 iconic Survivor men & women (WOW FINALLY UPDATED AGAIN)   Sat Oct 07, 2017 7:49 pm

Sophie <3

Jenn <3

Scout <3 I love her random mixtapes of incomprehensible music and anti-Trump spiels.
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Jack

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PostSubject: Re: Jack ranks top 100 iconic Survivor men & women (WOW FINALLY UPDATED AGAIN)   Sat Oct 07, 2017 10:43 pm

hahaha I'm sure a 70 year old Scout is even more hilarious than a 60 year old Scout. Her blogs on CBS' website back in the day were hilarious so it's good to know she hasn't lost that
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PostSubject: Re: Jack ranks top 100 iconic Survivor men & women (WOW FINALLY UPDATED AGAIN)   Fri Oct 13, 2017 2:12 pm

I always wonder who would win in a Scout vs Twila final two. The fact that a 60 year old cyborg lesbian hippie with a knee that doesn't work and who's also a cattle rancher from Oklahoma was THISCLOSE to joining the pantheon of Survivor winners is amazing.
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Merriska



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PostSubject: Re: Jack ranks top 100 iconic Survivor men & women (WOW FINALLY UPDATED AGAIN)   Fri Oct 13, 2017 5:19 pm

That would be such a better ending. Laughing
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PostSubject: Re: Jack ranks top 100 iconic Survivor men & women (WOW FINALLY UPDATED AGAIN)   Fri Oct 13, 2017 6:00 pm

T.ears Sophie deserves top 20! Lolz at Kelly. It is true, even 9 years later I still remember MAYBE HE GOT EATEN BY A MONKEY, DUDE and giggle.
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PostSubject: Re: Jack ranks top 100 iconic Survivor men & women (WOW FINALLY UPDATED AGAIN)   Sat Oct 14, 2017 12:16 pm

Mrak are you stealing my wo______ords?
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